Treatment Plan: Attachment Deficit Disorder
Earlier this week I posted a blog, in jest, about “Attachment Deficit Disorder.” This is a follow-up that I wrote (not Chat GPT 😉) for different treatment approaches I might use to address such a thing.
*Caveat- many areas could be expanded on or left out depending on your specific circumstances.
Pillar 1: Heal Shame
Includes: psychodeducation, shame tolerance, boundaries with self-critic, self compassion skills, identification of shame versus guilt
Pillar 2: Become a Safe Attachment Figure to Yourself
Includes: Inner child healing, grieving the love you did not get (a process of somatically and emotionally processing anger/rage/hate, sadness, fear, numbness/dissociation), shifting inner dialogue to one of love, pride and support, accountability, accepting consequences, and mature action: body movement, financial wellness, overall health and adult responsibility. Somatic practices to build an internal sense of safety and embodiment.
Pillar 3: Address Attachment Hunger/Loneliness
Includes: recognizing limerence, loneliness, obsession, reassurance seeking, preoccupation with romantic partners as a part that is starving for love, learn to tolerate some loneliness as part of the human condition. Learn how to detach from attachments that hurt you, begin to meet these needs yourself and in community.
Pillar 4: Pillar 3: Build a Life Worth Attaching To
Investing time and energy into: friendships, relationships that matter, creativity, hobbies, career, volunteering or other activities. This may include spiritual connection. Make small incremental changes over time that build community and passions.
Pillar 5: Address Rejection and Abandonment
Includes: Learning to tolerate impermanence and uncertainty as the natural human condition, practice not taking someone’s rejection of you personally (the way people treat us often says more about their capacity, character, wounds, and level of emotional maturity than it does about our worth- provided we have self-reflected and consulted our own conscience), grieve losses, address your own self-rejection and self-abandonment.
Pillar 6: Patience
Includes: Understanding this process takes time and will include relapses into former coping (limerence, numbing, addictions- of any kind including alcohol or social media, self-soothing strategies or dopamine seeking-behaviors). Periods of depression, anger, anxiety are all expected parts of healing ADD. Continued self-compassion and practice with staying in connection with yourself, especially when it’s hard.
