The Cycle of CPTSD Healing: Expand, Collapse, Repeat

I have, in many ways, been healing CPTSD for much of my adult life. I’ve used this experience, plus my education and training to support the healing of others.

I have also, behind the curtain of closed doors, shamed myself for a particular pattern, also, for much of my adult life.

And the pattern is this:

Energy, creativity, motivation, hard work (too much & too hard)…. followed by a crash. And the crash includes depression, tenderness/vulnerability, crying, difficulty getting out of bed, and sometimes even getting basic tasks done.

I have been SO FRUSTRATED with this pattern, my inner dialogue saying things like: “Why can’t you be more stable?” “Why can’t you set better boundaries?”

It was merely days ago, that I learned this pattern is part of CPTSD healing (thank you to my wise and wonderful therapist friends); learning this new information changed my life. So here I am, sharing it with you, in the hopes that if you also struggle with this pattern, we can all release some shame around it.

The crash is a normal part of the healing process. We expand… and as we expand our hypervigilance decreases, unprocessed emotions surface, we feel and process this, energy returns, and the cycle repeats. You are not actually repeating a pattern, you are accessing deeper layers of healing.

And with each new felt and processed layer, you are brought closer to joy, compassion, peace, connection and self-love.

Expand, collapse, repeat.

So you, me, WE, aren’t getting it wrong. Our bodies, in fact, know exactly what they need to do to heal us.

Isn’t this just the best news ever.

Much love ~ Christina ♥️